And let
the wife see that she respects her husband. That’s what Paul wrote in
the second half of Ephesians 5:33. Respect is something that I believe
has diminished throughout the years. So many marriages begin well and end poorly because men and women are not properly trained in how to treat one another. God has specific roles for the husband and the wife and when we stay within those roles we have happy marriages and good family
lives. Respect is something that should be mutual between all members
of the family, but for this article I want to give some helpful hints
for wives on how to respect their husbands. (For a related article read “How to Love Your Wife: 7 Helpful Tips”)
Respect His Leadership
God gave you your husband as the leader
in your home. This means that he is not only the Spiritual leader; he
is the one who make decisions. Women are ill-equipped to make large
decisions; we are far too emotional for that big responsibility. Your
part in the decision process could be to help him be the leader by
providing him with information that will aid in decision-making. And
remember that just because you provided information, this does not mean
that your husband will consider that information. He chooses what to
use in the decision process; a wise husband will ask for his wife’s
advice. When he chooses not to consider your information and/or advice
let him take responsibility for the decision, be it good or bad. Never,
ever say “I told you so” or words to that effect when a decision has
gone bad. When he makes good decisions thank him for taking that
burden. Remember to avoid getting leadership and advice from other males
in your life such as your pastor, friend or even your brother. Take a
look at what the Bible says about your husband’s role as leader and head
of the wife:
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Respect His Provision
This is a Biblical principle that has
been overlooked in our modern world. In the day of the two-income
family, we have come to depend upon the wife’s income to provide for the
needs of the family. This ought not to be. Don’t misunderstand; I
realize that sometimes it is necessary for a woman to work outside of
the home, in the case where the husband is physically unable. However,
when your husband is able to provide for the family – let him do it!
Here is the Biblical standard on the husband as the provider:
Genesis 3:17-20 And
to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat
of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain
you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it
shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By
the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the
ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Respect His Maleness
Accept the fact that God made you the
weaker vessel. This is one of those things that has taken me many years
to do. I am a strong willed woman and many times I have tried to do
things that I needed not to do. I now am thankful that my husband
carries the heavy packages and opens the doors for me. He is being what
God has made him to be, my protector – not only for safely sake but for
my own health and well-being. You were created for him, as his helper.
Let your husband be the strong one and when he is, praise him for it and
thank God for him. Let him open that pickle jar; even if you loosened
it for him. Here are some Bible verses for this hint:
Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise,
husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor
to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the
grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Respect as an Attitude
There are times when the husband is not
respectful to the wife. This does not give you license to be
disrespectful. You cannot control his actions, but you can control your
reactions. You see, respect is not only seen in your actions (as a verb)
but it is also seen in your attitude (as a noun). When you show an
attitude of respect toward your husband he will think twice about the
way that he is treating you. Love him, even when he is unlovely. Serve
him, even when he seems not to appreciate your service. Listen to him,
even when you may not understand what he is talking about. Be attentive
to his physical needs, even when you are tired. God will bless you and
your marriage when you remember to have a respectful attitude. Bible
guidelines for this are:
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